So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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