I want to have your abortion
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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