So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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