We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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