How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
