I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize