i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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