he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
