Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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