You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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