shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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