at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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