totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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