This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize