so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
