My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
