Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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