Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
