I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize