so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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