I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
