connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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