it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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