Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
