Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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