Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize