Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize