GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
