Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
