I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
