There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
