So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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