I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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