I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she looked like the before picture.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
