I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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