mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
