Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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