We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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