you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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