I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
