i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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