So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
