Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
