Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
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