Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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