Is it normal to miss your booty call?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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