i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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