alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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