You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize