Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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