friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
