Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
