This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
