remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
