I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
handjob tips. give me some.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize