You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
