The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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