is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
