i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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