Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
