Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize