What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
