I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
